“No one is up at 3 am and by that
I mean no one I want to talk to
I’m still cold under these covers
And I bet you’d feel so warm here
I don’t mean it like that I’m just looking
For something to make me feel
It won’t be weird in the morning
Just let me touch your skin
Breathe into me like we’re in a coffin
There’s no new air just me
I’m just dreaming now but I’m not asleep
So pump my lungs til something progressive happens
I’m getting bored of this and I’m just looking for something to make me feel
I’ve had 4 consecutive nightmares about how beautiful it was to taste you
And how ugly it was to watch you ignore me for a week
I love you only in the way you love me
Just touch me again and pretend it’s just my skeleton because that’s all it really is
Fulfill me before daylight
The suns coming up and I’m just looking for something to make me feel”
— "3 AM," s.p.
12:57 am • 30 March 2014 • 7 notes
You know how you can’t tell what your house smells like because you’re so used to it?
That’s how I wanted to love you
I wanted to get used to you
Not in the way you get used to foods so that they eventually lose their flavor
Or the way you repeat words so many times you forget what they mean
I wanted to get used to you like you get used to house smell
You don’t notice it but you know it’s home
I wanted you to be home
— “Home,” S. P. January 2014
4:16 pm • 22 March 2014 • 17 notes
I’ve tried posing this like 50 times and it keeps not doing that. WIP. Edgy dude inspired by Alex Turner/Lyrics by Arcade Fire.
10:35 pm • 25 January 2014 • 3 notes
It is a new year and this year you will learn to love yourself in the form of:
1. Smiling at your reflection in puddles the way you’d smile at a stranger who looks sad. You are the stranger who looks sad. It’s been too long.
2. Giving yourself haircuts at 2 in the morning because you have craft scissors and haircuts always make you happy. You don’t know a thing about cutting hair. You will not do a good job. Like hair, you will grow to love it.
3. Kissing the mirror when you put on lipstick.
4. Not wiping it off. (If the glass gets so covered in kiss marks that you can’t see your face, maybe then wipe it off. Or don’t. You’re wearing lipstick, you look good.)
5. Saying the wrong things at the wrong times and not apologizing. You don’t need to say you’re sorry for saying words. “Sorry” is just a word, it will blend in with the others anyway.
6. Touching yourself when you want to and even when you don’t want to. Don’t feel bad about things that feel good. It feels good. Feel good.
7. Acknowledging that you exist. This means understanding that everything you do is in fact significant. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
8. Loving the scars and the zits and the stretch marks and the bags under your eyes the same way you love when they aren’t there. They are a part of you and you are so beautiful.
9. You are so, so beautiful.
— Resolution, January 1st 2014
10:17 pm • 1 January 2014 • 504 notes
I want to tell you that I’m sorry
But I won’t because you’ll ask “for what?”
and there’s nothing I can say worth apologizing for
Some things are just better left alone but you don’t leave anything alone and somehow that’s never been a bad thing
I just want you to understand that I feel guilty But I know you wouldn’t want me to
You’re selfless and I’m just self sufficient
I’m a magnet to madness and I lack the strength to make better choices like you do and accept it and adapt when things go wrong
You won’t forgive me because I won’t ask
And even good people have their limits
Your cheeks will blush redder and my bruises will yellow because purple is a royal color and I could never live up to that
They say doves are just white pigeons but they know you’re pure and I’m a pest we’ve just both got wings to carry us
One day I’ll fade out like sad music and you’ll keep running when I drop to my knees already so far behind
And you’ll think it’s your fault and that’s why I’m apologizing
Because I need you to know I did this to myself
6:38 pm • 16 September 2013 • 14 notes
I made an Archy Marshall collage because [archy voice] I’ve hit rock bottom
7:58 pm • 5 August 2013 • 14 notes
these are very old but i thought i’d post them together instead of separately
feel free to delete the caption
2:07 pm • 1 August 2013 • 7 notes
i made a collage for the cover of my lovewell notebook and i slathered it in glue to sort of help it from getting raggedy and it kind of made the ink bleed in some places but i think it looks cool
10:02 pm • 7 July 2013 • 10 notes